This dress I bought is from a charity shop in Camden!!
"LIFE, IF WELL LIVED, IS LONG ENOUGH"
Does anyone else feel like there is just not enough hours in the day to get what you want done? Years go past so quickly, and we are constantly planning what we are going to be doing ‘Summer 2020, who am I going to be living with at University when I go back and more. Maybe it is that I am trying to be organised, is the reason I feel I am running out of time. I am turning 22 in March and that really scares me. I am the type of person who really beats myself up when I am not where I want to be in life at this point. Although I feel as though I am doing well, moving to London for placement and full filling my city dreams, travelling and in the middle of my 4 years at University, I constantly feel like there is so much more I can be doing and such a little amount of time to do it.
I have always had huge aspirations for myself. If I was writing a post about what I want to do before I am 30 you would be reading for hours. I watch everyone running around Regent Park on my lunch break and think to myself I should be doing that, I see young girls on Instagram flying across the globe and running their own businesses and think, I should be doing that. I read articles in newspapers and think I should be writing way more and visit photography accounts and beat myself up at the little amount of film photos I have taken this weekend. I just constantly feel like I could be doing so much more. So what is stopping me from doing it? Why do I feel like life is running past me so quickly that I don’t even have time to catch up with myself or how I am feeling.
The thought that I am falling behind makes me feel anxious and leaves me feeling extremely panicky. I am constantly worrying about the future, when realistically all I want it to be happy and content with where I am. What I have figured out from moving out of Somerset is that the only way to get rid of these negative feelings is to live souley in the present. There is no worse feeling than the sadness resulting in the thought that you are wasting your life. I believe that there is only one life and we should live it to the highest of our ability. This instantly pressurises every move I make and magnifies whether this is how I should be spending my time. My mind doesn't only put pressure on the situations I am in, but I constantly beat myself up for feeling as if I am not good enough and this is draining.
So, how are we going to learn to live in the present? This is such a cliche!
Living in the present is a whole other article to be written, but just to touch on it lightly, I have now learnt that living in the present is the only way I will feel truly happy within myself, long term. This whole feeling of "running out of time" is called 'time anxiety.' It is the mind being triggered by the thought "am I creating the greatest amount of value with my life that I can?"
"DON'T COMPARE YOUR CHAPTER 1, TO SOMEBODY ELSE'S CHAPTER 20"
Let this be a reminder to yourself that you have all the time in the world. We can't be constantly concerned with the past or the future, but only the present. Be concerned about what is happening in this moment in time. Not content with where you are in life? Change it. How else will you find happiness within yourself.
